His hands were sweating again. The interview phobia had started acting up again: it always kicked in just five minutes before the interview. He pulled out his handkerchief, tried to wipe his hands dry, but that only aggravated the sweating. He thought of using some powder, but wasn't sure if he had the time.
Suddenly, he heard his name called. Nope, no time for powder. He got up instantly, fumbled with his file and handkerchief, tried to get a hold on both, and in the process, dropped them both.
"Shit - shit - SHIT!", he mumbled as his name was called out again. Quickly grabbing the file and its content, he rushed forward.
"Yes sir! That would be me."
The receptionist glanced at him, and pointed him to a room.
He started getting more nervous. More sweating, more weird thoughts, more fumbling. In fact, his hands were so sweaty by now, that he felt that he could provide enough water to Ganges to keep it running for another thousand years.
"NO, NO, NO! No weird thoughts please! Job interview, yes, rush!"
Somehow he managed to enter the room, and glanced at the table. He saw one person waiting for him. A wave of relief swept over him. Till now, it had always been a panel of three or more. One person was definitely more manageable.
He sat on the empty chair. It felt cold.
"So, your resume only mentions a low cpi, no extra curriculars, and no project at all."
"Yes sir."
"Care to offer an explanation?"
"No Sir."
"Really?"
"Yes sir." The sweating had started more profusely than ever before. Now, his head showed beads of sweat. He needed to handle this. It was his last chance to land a job.
"Care to venture out of the room?"
"No Sir"
"What? I am not requesting you, I am ordering you"
"No Sir.. I mean.. yes sir.. I mean I thought you wanted my opinion on whether to stay or go out. Sir, Sir, please dont kick me out sir... I am good sir. I am good at lot of things." He had to bluff. If now, then never.
"Ok, what are you good at?"
"Sir..sir..I am good at blowing up labs." He blurted out.
"What?!?!?!!"
"Yes sir, I've done it four times, once in each of the four years I've been here. All times the chemical laboratory."
"How? How did you manage to do that? What did you mix?"
"Sir, I thought I was mixing NaOH and HCl."
"And what were you actually mixing?"
"Sir, they never found out!! You know, everything was a mess. Next time, I was mixing...". He found his courage back, but was cut off.
"Never mind. Is there something that you are good at and we can use at our organization?"
"Sir, you are a telecom company. You know, I can imitate different voices. Sir, Sir, I am a record holder for maximum number of proxies in a class. I put proxy for 20 students in one class. All in different voices. I even put proxy for a girl there sir." On a roll, he thought. Never had he lasted so long in the interview.
"No, no dear. You are getting it all wrong. Let me test your knowledge. Do you have in-depth knowledge of anything? Anything at all?"
"Sir, I watch a lot of movies."
"Oh really. I do too. Tell me, how many movies have you watched out of imdb top 100?"
<Shhitt. Who said anything about english movies? I meant hindi movies. No No No. What should I do? What should I do? Bluff it out?>
"Sir, most of them, sir!" He cried.
"I like 12 Angry Men a lot. What about you?"
<12 Angry men? IMDB top 100? Must be an oscar winner? Let me try my luck.>
"Yes sir! Brilliant movie. It even got oscars!!"
"Yes yes. Good good, we have some talking point!"
"Yes sir. What angriness sir. And the fight scenes among the angry men sir, brilliant sir. Never seen such fighting scenes. Beats the angry young man of our film industry, I mean the senior Bachchan!"
"What? Oh! You must be talking about the discussion sequences. Right right! And what about seven? Did you like that too?"
"Yes sir. Seven angry men was even better! I have seen the whole series. Right from number one angry man to the 12 angry men! And I like 12th and 7th the most."
"Umm.. any other movie that you would like to talk about? What about Forrest Gump?"
"Lovely sweet animal Sir, the Gump. And the forest, oh! Breathtaking! I am telling you sir, if that movie was made now, in terms of picturization and visualization, it'd make life of pi look puny!"
"Oh really?"
"Yes sir, totally. In fact, if you bring the monkey from the life of pi in the Forest gump, that would be a story worth telling!"
"Yeah, that WOULD be hell of a story!"
"Yes sir." He noticed that his hands were no longer sweating.
"Well, I think that's it for now. We will get back to you soon."
"Sure sir. Thank you sir. You are the best interviewer till date!"
He had a good handshake, and he walked out. He felt that he had finally overcome his phobia. One good interview was all it took!
Suddenly, he heard his name called. Nope, no time for powder. He got up instantly, fumbled with his file and handkerchief, tried to get a hold on both, and in the process, dropped them both.
"Shit - shit - SHIT!", he mumbled as his name was called out again. Quickly grabbing the file and its content, he rushed forward.
"Yes sir! That would be me."
The receptionist glanced at him, and pointed him to a room.
He started getting more nervous. More sweating, more weird thoughts, more fumbling. In fact, his hands were so sweaty by now, that he felt that he could provide enough water to Ganges to keep it running for another thousand years.
"NO, NO, NO! No weird thoughts please! Job interview, yes, rush!"
Somehow he managed to enter the room, and glanced at the table. He saw one person waiting for him. A wave of relief swept over him. Till now, it had always been a panel of three or more. One person was definitely more manageable.
He sat on the empty chair. It felt cold.
"So, your resume only mentions a low cpi, no extra curriculars, and no project at all."
"Yes sir."
"Care to offer an explanation?"
"No Sir."
"Really?"
"Yes sir." The sweating had started more profusely than ever before. Now, his head showed beads of sweat. He needed to handle this. It was his last chance to land a job.
"Care to venture out of the room?"
"No Sir"
"What? I am not requesting you, I am ordering you"
"No Sir.. I mean.. yes sir.. I mean I thought you wanted my opinion on whether to stay or go out. Sir, Sir, please dont kick me out sir... I am good sir. I am good at lot of things." He had to bluff. If now, then never.
"Ok, what are you good at?"
"Sir..sir..I am good at blowing up labs." He blurted out.
"What?!?!?!!"
"Yes sir, I've done it four times, once in each of the four years I've been here. All times the chemical laboratory."
"How? How did you manage to do that? What did you mix?"
"Sir, I thought I was mixing NaOH and HCl."
"And what were you actually mixing?"
"Sir, they never found out!! You know, everything was a mess. Next time, I was mixing...". He found his courage back, but was cut off.
"Never mind. Is there something that you are good at and we can use at our organization?"
"Sir, you are a telecom company. You know, I can imitate different voices. Sir, Sir, I am a record holder for maximum number of proxies in a class. I put proxy for 20 students in one class. All in different voices. I even put proxy for a girl there sir." On a roll, he thought. Never had he lasted so long in the interview.
"No, no dear. You are getting it all wrong. Let me test your knowledge. Do you have in-depth knowledge of anything? Anything at all?"
"Sir, I watch a lot of movies."
"Oh really. I do too. Tell me, how many movies have you watched out of imdb top 100?"
<Shhitt. Who said anything about english movies? I meant hindi movies. No No No. What should I do? What should I do? Bluff it out?>
"Sir, most of them, sir!" He cried.
"I like 12 Angry Men a lot. What about you?"
<12 Angry men? IMDB top 100? Must be an oscar winner? Let me try my luck.>
"Yes sir! Brilliant movie. It even got oscars!!"
"Yes yes. Good good, we have some talking point!"
"Yes sir. What angriness sir. And the fight scenes among the angry men sir, brilliant sir. Never seen such fighting scenes. Beats the angry young man of our film industry, I mean the senior Bachchan!"
"What? Oh! You must be talking about the discussion sequences. Right right! And what about seven? Did you like that too?"
"Yes sir. Seven angry men was even better! I have seen the whole series. Right from number one angry man to the 12 angry men! And I like 12th and 7th the most."
"Umm.. any other movie that you would like to talk about? What about Forrest Gump?"
"Lovely sweet animal Sir, the Gump. And the forest, oh! Breathtaking! I am telling you sir, if that movie was made now, in terms of picturization and visualization, it'd make life of pi look puny!"
"Oh really?"
"Yes sir, totally. In fact, if you bring the monkey from the life of pi in the Forest gump, that would be a story worth telling!"
"Yeah, that WOULD be hell of a story!"
"Yes sir." He noticed that his hands were no longer sweating.
"Well, I think that's it for now. We will get back to you soon."
"Sure sir. Thank you sir. You are the best interviewer till date!"
He had a good handshake, and he walked out. He felt that he had finally overcome his phobia. One good interview was all it took!
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